Language is any device used in communicating, the impact of communication in a relationship cannot be overemphasized relationship in this regard is any association between two or more people, The concept of “love languages” comes from a book by Gary Chapman where he described five different ways that couples express and experience love which is: through words of affirmation, quality time, gift-giving, acts of service, and physical touch.
Love language is the key to any successful relationship, love language refers to the category of behaviors that individuals associate with affection, as an individual it is important to identify your love language to understand how you would want to be loved, to draw a better picture of what love means to you, learning yours and your partners love language is a very useful way of building emotional connections and addressing re-occurring conflicts
If you are in a relationship you might want to watch your partner carefully and ask yourself which of these things are they doing to show their love for you? it might be a gateway to understanding what they seem to want from you and how they expect you to show your love for them,
Chapman argues that we use one love language as our primary way of expressing and receiving love, and another as a secondary way to communicate.
Listed below are the various love languages suggested by Gary Chapman and it's okay if you identify yourself with more than one love language.
1. Words of affirmation
people want to feel appreciated, so compliments and words of appreciation is a powerful love language, they love to be encouraged, affirmed, appreciated, empathized, and you as a partner might also need to listen actively. You have probably noticed your partner loves hearing you say “I love you” “I miss you” “you look good in that dress” “I love how that tie fits you” this is probably their love language, for this kind of people negative comments hurt them deeply and they might not forgive easily. You can try to send an unexpected note, text or card it is sure to make them feel loved.
2. Quality time
When your undivided attention means more to your partner than a bouquet of roses, Didn’t simi sing about “stay with me even if you’ve got someplace to be” quality time means giving someone your undivided attention no distractions what so ever, might just include looking at each other and talking about random things, taking a walk, or having a long and deep conversation, it makes your partner feel special, to get on their bad side all you have to do is appear distracted or oblivious about them.
3. Gift giving
Giving gifts show thoughtfulness it doesn’t have to be big it’s the thoughts that matter to them because it shows them that you’re thinking affectionately of them and makes them feel appreciated, perhaps if you find out your partner’s love language is receiving gifts, but you are not one to give gifts probably because you hardly received gifts as a child and never learned how to choose one? Then you and your partner need to sit and discuss your difference in love language, you can then learn the second love language.
4. Acts of service
This means doing things you know your partner would appreciate by lending helping hands, things like picking up their laundry from the wash house, cooking a meal, clearing the table after a meal, taking their car for a maintenance or service check, although this love language requires thoughts of planning, time and energy, so if done with a positive spirit, your partner will recognize you went out of your way to get it done and they know how much work went into it, this means action speaks louder than words. These kinds of people don’t tolerate people who don't do the extra for them, so if you are not lending a helping hand it shows them you don’t value them.
5. Physical touch
Touch has always been a reliable way of sending calming signals.
This love language is Non-verbal because it uses body language and touch to emphasize love, gestures like hugs, kiss, hold hands, cuddle and sex are ways of communicating love to your partner it builds intimacy, for people who speak this language they tend to feel unloved without it but feel secure with it.
WHEN YOU SPEAK DIFFERENT LOVE LANGUAGES
Love languages encourage attentiveness and self-regulation above all, it does not necessarily compel you to be with someone you both possess the same love language, the knowledge of the love languages makes relationships less confusing as you understand why you both view love differently, you understand where your partner is coming from and have an insight on what matters most to them like I always say “similarity is not necessarily compatibility”
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